Farewells

I've never been a particular fan or non-fan of Michael Jackson. He sang music that I could appreciate, but it didn't really fall into what I tended to listen to... I never really could believe that he intended to hurt children, no matter what allegations were made, but then again I didn't read much of that news either. Even this week with news denominated by Jackson headlines, I didn't feel like I needed to know the details or hear about scandels. So, I'm not sure what made me cave and tune into the last 15 minutes of his public funeral. I think I'm glad I did... even if the sound of his daughters voice sharing her terrible pain and loss with the entire world haunts me forever. Some will say that it was wrong for her to be there - but I got the feeling she wanted very badly for the world to be reminded that he was human and that real people really loved him, just for himself, not his money, not his talents, but the stupid everyday kind of love that most of feel for parents, siblings, and friends.

Today seems to be a funeral kind of day. The weather outside is cool and gloomy. I learned this morning that a key DJ on a radio station that really defined music in my highschool years took his own life. Maybe its just the new mix CD that by some quirk of mood seems to be full of melancholy songs or my reading of the Star's curent series on women battling drug addiction isn't exactly uplifting. My eyes are kind of teary. I didn't know Michael Jackson or Martin Streek, but the susceptability of even people who seemed larger than life to simple death - the fragility of human life in general just seems to leave me feeling a touch vulnerable. I happened accross a picture of me and Andrew Desmond this morning, looking for something else, and maybe that has coloured my reactions. He drove me nuts sometimes, but I wish I could have the joy of his outrageous Deziness in person once more... death seems so unfairly final and you can only hope that they can hear you say all the things you wish you said in life across the barrier between life and death.

On an up note, I've actually gotten to the point where I'm really starting making progress on my modelling.